April poetry challenge day 1

Birth of the Sun

Across the bathroom floor,
the house shrouded
in a caul of night,
I lie face up.
In spite of cool tiles
against bare skin,
my five-year-old body
arcs from fever.
Mother and Father
crouch over me, swab my torso
with rubbing alcohol.
My heart turns to lava,
leaks out my pores, swirls
into a mass above my parents’ backs.
There is no movement toward the light –
I am the source.
***

Day 1 of napowrimo at Read Write Poem and Poetic Asides. I’m trying to do both challenges, because I’m an over achiever like that. Today’s prompt from Poetic Asides is to write an origin poem. Jill’s prompt is to make up a metaphor and include it in the poem.

Jill has asked us to gather 50 words as part of this month of poetry writing. If you have a cool word or two you’d like to donate to my personal cause, please leave it here in the comments section. Thanks!

dyalns-letter-a

13 thoughts on “April poetry challenge day 1

  1. Linda Jacobs says:

    My heart turns to lava,
    leaks out my pores, swirls
    into a mass above my parents’ backs.

    Love this metaphor!
    I like how the poem begins in the concrete and ends kind of mysteriously.

    Here ae a couple words for you: meander, notebook

    Like

  2. jo says:

    Good descriptions, C. I particularly like the ending: There is no movement toward the light,
    I am the source. Such energy spilling here…….

    Words: slick and shift

    Like

  3. Jordan Reynolds says:

    Excellent poem, C. I definitely agree with the others that the imagery dealing with the parents’ backs is strong. Your use of motion is also nice. There is motion in the piece, but it is centered on the birthed sun.

    Excellent work, a nice beginning.

    Best,
    Jordan

    Like

  4. christine says:

    Carole, I started by making a list of things right around me, including my wedding band. The wedding band made me think of the sun, which led to heat, fever, etc… .

    Thanks, Jordan!

    Like

  5. Julie says:

    Excellent poem. What sharp images. I love:

    “My heart turns to lava,
    leaks out my pores, swirls
    into a mass above my parents’ backs.”

    I’m glad you made the comment about your wedding band, because the creative process is so interesting to me. Isn’t it wild how that made you think of the sun? It’s fitting, though. And beautiful. I know you’ll rise to the challenge. Awesome poetry!

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s